This morning, I was hit by a few things:
1. This line from a blogpost that someone shared on facebook while she reflected on her failed relationship.
I made a comment on it, that was perhaps a little brash, and without much explanation. Then promptly got scolded by two friends from my youth and reminded of the difference between “Pink” and “Blue” glasses. I probably would have just went on about my day, had it not been for that one paragraph in the blog post.
Full article here.
2. I saw that a good friend of mine is getting promoted. I had to stop myself from being jealous, since I went to the promotion board before he did, I’ve been in this rank longer than he has, not to mention the Army. I had to remind myself, I am not entitled to a promotion, nor does the Army owe me anything. I’m proud of him for having the extra 60 points that I didn’t have, and I’m glad that he got promoted. He is a great Soldier, and he’ll do well at the next rank.
3. For the rest of the day, I sat through about an 8 hour presentation on the transition from “Military life to Civilian Life.” It was an amazing seminar lead by various former service members who all shared their experience during their transitions. Unfortunately, it’s a stark reminder that my life in the Army is drawing nigh.
This afternoon, after I was done with my class, I came back to the barracks, changed clothes, and began to reflect on the day like I often do. I thought about writing a long post explaining my position on why I think that feeling like you deserve something in a relationship other than love and respect is dangerous, and how the feeling of entitlement in a relationship... is a relationship killer. I thought about getting promoted, I thought about getting out of the military, and then my foot kindly reminded me that I needed to elevate it. (I just had surgery if you didn’t know).
As the blood rushed from my foot back towards my brain, my thoughts began to wonder off to Lew. In her last blog, Lew wrote about selfless love and my self-sacrificing spirit. Lew, my love, you make it easy, but I also have to admire you for yours.
You see, you agreed to marry me, even though you knew life wasn’t going to be all rainbows and unicorn farts. You married me, knowing that I am a Soldier, and that means I would be doing Soldier type things. Like deploying, going on long training missions, doing stuff that might mean life or limb, and even for having a Soldier’s vernacular which includes phrases like “Rainbows and Unicorn Farts.” You didn’t care though. In spite of knowing that life would be hard, you still married me.
You didn’t marry me because of something you felt you deserved. You didn’t marry me because of my massive wealth, or my education, or my rank in the army, or what kind of car I drove, or what kind of person you could change me into. You married me… for me.
Even though we’re 6,000 miles apart, you make me want to be a better man. Not because you’re nagging me to do it, or because you feel entitled to it. In all honesty, I know that you would love me no matter if I worked for Microsoft pulling $220,000 a year and we lived in a mansion, or if we lived in a hut in some jungle somewhere preaching the gospel. Actually, truth be told, you would probably rather do the latter over the former, but that's neither here nor there.
So thank you for encouraging me to get my degree. Thank you for standing next to me every time I hatch some kind of hair brained scheme. Thanks for not criticizing my stupid decisions, and not rubbing it in my face when you were right. Thanks for being there for me, now that I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life (the transition from military to civilian).
I know that things are rough right now, especially since we still have 5 months left, and there is no telling when we’ll see each other next thanks to more surgery, and a tight leave/training schedule, plus finances. Whether you admit it or not, you too, have a sacrificial spirit.
I love you, Lew.
1. This line from a blogpost that someone shared on facebook while she reflected on her failed relationship.
“I challenged you because I loved you. I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn't easy — as in, I didn't just "go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you - I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.”
I made a comment on it, that was perhaps a little brash, and without much explanation. Then promptly got scolded by two friends from my youth and reminded of the difference between “Pink” and “Blue” glasses. I probably would have just went on about my day, had it not been for that one paragraph in the blog post.
Full article here.
2. I saw that a good friend of mine is getting promoted. I had to stop myself from being jealous, since I went to the promotion board before he did, I’ve been in this rank longer than he has, not to mention the Army. I had to remind myself, I am not entitled to a promotion, nor does the Army owe me anything. I’m proud of him for having the extra 60 points that I didn’t have, and I’m glad that he got promoted. He is a great Soldier, and he’ll do well at the next rank.
3. For the rest of the day, I sat through about an 8 hour presentation on the transition from “Military life to Civilian Life.” It was an amazing seminar lead by various former service members who all shared their experience during their transitions. Unfortunately, it’s a stark reminder that my life in the Army is drawing nigh.
This afternoon, after I was done with my class, I came back to the barracks, changed clothes, and began to reflect on the day like I often do. I thought about writing a long post explaining my position on why I think that feeling like you deserve something in a relationship other than love and respect is dangerous, and how the feeling of entitlement in a relationship... is a relationship killer. I thought about getting promoted, I thought about getting out of the military, and then my foot kindly reminded me that I needed to elevate it. (I just had surgery if you didn’t know).
As the blood rushed from my foot back towards my brain, my thoughts began to wonder off to Lew. In her last blog, Lew wrote about selfless love and my self-sacrificing spirit. Lew, my love, you make it easy, but I also have to admire you for yours.
You see, you agreed to marry me, even though you knew life wasn’t going to be all rainbows and unicorn farts. You married me, knowing that I am a Soldier, and that means I would be doing Soldier type things. Like deploying, going on long training missions, doing stuff that might mean life or limb, and even for having a Soldier’s vernacular which includes phrases like “Rainbows and Unicorn Farts.” You didn’t care though. In spite of knowing that life would be hard, you still married me.
You didn’t marry me because of something you felt you deserved. You didn’t marry me because of my massive wealth, or my education, or my rank in the army, or what kind of car I drove, or what kind of person you could change me into. You married me… for me.
Even though we’re 6,000 miles apart, you make me want to be a better man. Not because you’re nagging me to do it, or because you feel entitled to it. In all honesty, I know that you would love me no matter if I worked for Microsoft pulling $220,000 a year and we lived in a mansion, or if we lived in a hut in some jungle somewhere preaching the gospel. Actually, truth be told, you would probably rather do the latter over the former, but that's neither here nor there.
So thank you for encouraging me to get my degree. Thank you for standing next to me every time I hatch some kind of hair brained scheme. Thanks for not criticizing my stupid decisions, and not rubbing it in my face when you were right. Thanks for being there for me, now that I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life (the transition from military to civilian).
I know that things are rough right now, especially since we still have 5 months left, and there is no telling when we’ll see each other next thanks to more surgery, and a tight leave/training schedule, plus finances. Whether you admit it or not, you too, have a sacrificial spirit.
I love you, Lew.
No comments:
Post a Comment