Agape

This morning, I was hit by a few things:

1. This line from a blogpost that someone shared on facebook while she reflected on her failed relationship.

“I challenged you because I loved you. I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn't easy — as in, I didn't just "go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you - I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.”

I made a comment on it, that was perhaps a little brash, and without much explanation.  Then promptly got scolded by two friends from my youth and reminded of the difference between “Pink” and “Blue” glasses.  I probably would have just went on about my day, had it not been for that one paragraph in the blog post.
Full article here.

2. I saw that a good friend of mine is getting promoted. I had to stop myself from being jealous, since I went to the promotion board before he did, I’ve been in this rank longer than he has, not to mention the Army.  I had to remind myself, I am not entitled to a promotion, nor does the Army owe me anything. I’m proud of him for having the extra 60 points that I didn’t have, and I’m glad that he got promoted. He is a great Soldier, and he’ll do well at the next rank.

3. For the rest of the day, I sat through about an 8 hour presentation on the transition from “Military life to Civilian Life.” It was an amazing seminar lead by various former service members who all shared their experience during their transitions. Unfortunately, it’s a stark reminder that my life in the Army is drawing nigh.


This afternoon, after I was done with my class, I came back to the barracks, changed clothes, and began to reflect on the day like I often do. I thought about writing a long post explaining my position on why I think that feeling like you deserve something in a relationship other than love and respect is dangerous, and how the feeling of entitlement in a relationship... is a relationship killer.  I thought about getting promoted, I thought about getting out of the military, and then my foot kindly reminded me that I needed to elevate it. (I just had surgery if you didn’t know).

As the blood rushed from my foot back towards my brain, my thoughts began to wonder off to Lew.  In her last blog, Lew wrote about selfless love and my self-sacrificing spirit. Lew, my love, you make it easy, but I also have to admire you for yours.

You see, you agreed to marry me, even though you knew life wasn’t going to be all rainbows and unicorn farts. You married me, knowing that I am a Soldier, and that means I would be doing Soldier type things. Like deploying, going on long training missions, doing stuff that might mean life or limb, and even for having a Soldier’s vernacular which includes phrases like “Rainbows and Unicorn Farts.”   You didn’t care though. In spite of knowing that life would be hard, you still married me.
You didn’t marry me because of something you felt you deserved. You didn’t marry me because of my massive wealth, or my education, or my rank in the army, or what kind of car I drove, or what kind of person you could change me into. You married me… for me.

Even though we’re 6,000 miles apart, you make me want to be a better man. Not because you’re nagging me to do it, or because you feel entitled to it. In all honesty, I know that you would love me no matter if I worked for Microsoft pulling $220,000 a year and we lived in a mansion, or if we lived in a hut in some jungle somewhere preaching the gospel. Actually, truth be told, you would probably rather do the latter over the former, but that's neither here nor there.

So thank you for encouraging me to get my degree. Thank you for standing next to me every time I hatch some kind of hair brained scheme. Thanks for not criticizing my stupid decisions, and not rubbing it in my face when you were right. Thanks for being there for me, now that I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life (the transition from military to civilian).

I know that things are rough right now, especially since we still have 5 months left, and there is no telling when we’ll see each other next thanks to more surgery, and a tight leave/training schedule, plus finances. Whether you admit it or not, you too, have a sacrificial spirit.
I love you, Lew. 

One year ago today...

One year ago today, God knocked my feet out from under me (literally) when I shattered my knee, completely tearing the PCL, dislocating the knee, and breaking the tibia. The injury left me and every doctor that I saw (and there were a lot of doctors) ask, "How in the world did this happen?" It was really an inexplicable freak injury.

And so began a year that included a total of about 8 weeks on crutches, 9 months of physical therapy, no running, rebuilding muscle, and regaining flexibility. I am by no means at 100% yet (and perhaps I never will be), but I am so thankful to be as far on the road of recovery as I am. And I commemorated the year anniversary of the injury by doing a hiking/backpacking trip (22 miles total) on the Pacific Crest Trail with the Squirrel.

As I reflect back on the past year, although I do not understand how or why the injury happened, I can definitely see some things that God has taught me through it.

First, He taught me HUMILITY. I have always been the person on a hike who has been out in front leading the group or who still has more energy left even at the end of a hike. But this year, I have had to learn to be okay with saying, "I can't go any farther." Or "I don't think I can do that." This has been a very hard lesson for me to learn, and I still don't think that I have completely learned it. But it has also taught me more about COMPASSION. I now know what it is like to be unable to do the things that I want to do or need to do. I know what it's like to have to rely on other people because I am not physically able to open the door for myself or carry my own food, which definitely helps me to empathize with others whom I see on crutches or who may have other physical ailments or may not be as strong as I am. And since I wasn't able to do so much for myself, I definitely learned more about SELFLESS LOVE in Liam's self-sacrificing spirit. He put my socks and shoes on for me when I couldn't bend my leg enough to reach my feet; he helped me into the shower when I couldn't do so myself; he did the grocery shopping; he drove me to and from work and doctor's appointments; he put off his own surgery and endured his own pain because he was taking care of me. And I could go on and on. Thank you to Liam for all that you did and do for me, and thank you to God for giving me such a great husband.

Finally, I have also grown in HEAVENLY MINDEDNESS this past year. Having a physical injury has made me think more about how temporary our physical bodies are, and knowing that I may never get back to 100% again makes me glad that I have a heavenly body to which I can look forward. I think that God sometimes removes the earthly things from us to help us to focus more on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. And that thought brings JOY.

Camping with a Crew of Q's

Here are some pictures of my fourth of July camping trip with the family in WA:

Our little house in the woods

I've got daisies in green pastures

Beautiful fields of wildflowers

First dinner

Lots of cute kids




Good views

Day 1 Hike

Silly grandpa and silly grandson

More nature sightings

Day 2 Hike


A Stack of Girls Equals a Happy Grandma

The tia thinks to herself: Why don't I get to sit on a lap, too?

Girl with backpack

The only difference between men and boys...

On the way down

Depth Perception

The "twins"

Our Favorite Pastime


Another Hike

A stop at Palouse Falls on the way home

So Long New Jersey and Thanks for All the Fish

It's time to say "see you later" to yet another state, NJ friends, and this sojourn on the journey we are on. This farewell is definitely not the first nor will it be the last, I'm sure. I was talking to a student last week about moving and saying "good-bye." And we were talking about how it is hard. But I reminded her that as Christians we do not have to say "good-bye"; instead, we get to say "see you later." And that thought makes the leaving exponentially more bearable though it is still not easy or fun.

So I thought for this current "see you later" I would commemorate some (and indeed, it would be impossible to do all) of the great times/people/places/memories of NJ, but first, a few things I will not miss:

1. The ants...I'm surprised that they have not carried away the house by now, but unless new renters move in soon and hire the exterminators like we did, there may soon not be a house to move in to.

2. The New Jersey roads: this includes, but is not limited to, the traffic, the turn-right-to-turn-left shenanigans, and the endless potholes that ruin the alignment on any and every car that even thinks about driving in New Jersey

3. The non-regulating shower with which we have put up for the past three years...one minute it was barely warm, and then the next, scalding hot. And when it was scalding hot, turning on the cold water made it hotter, and when it was barely warm, turning off the cold water made it colder...I know...first world problems...

And now for the list of what I will miss:

1. Liquid Church: I will miss the good preaching and teaching and the vision that this church has for reaching the lost in New Jersey and serving the least of these. We loved the preaching and grew in our walks with God during this stage in our lives. We are also thankful for B and A for their premarital counseling that took us a whole year into our marriage to complete. Pastor Tim and Pastor Tom were also so influential in our lives.

2. Our Life Group: T and J (and G), R and J, A and A, S and J, E and H, J and A have come to mean so much to us because you lived life with us. Your accountability and friendship means the world to us! You came into our lives during a time when we really needed friends, and your support and encouragement have sustained us through some rough times (especially for me during Liam's absence). Some of the best memories are trying Taylor Ham and Egg sandwiches, bike riding (especially across the bridge), kayaking the Delaware, great discussions about the Bible but also about what animals we would all be, Girl Scout cookies, and Apple Jacks, Bazooka, Cranberry Sauce, Doritos (why, oh why, do I remember that?), great memories of eating not-so-great Persian food, and of course, my first time at the shore...in the rain and fog and cold.

3. Veritas: Once again it has been my privilege to be a part of a great Christian school with a vision for discipleship and Christian education. I do not know why God only allowed me to work there one year, but I am glad that I crossed paths with such a great staff and so many awesome students that give me hope that God is still at work in our society and in the younger generations.

4. Telling people that New Jersey was better than I expected it to be. I was expecting miles and miles of Newark-esque city, but instead, I was pleasantly surprised by the rolling hills and the lakes and the green and the amazing flowering trees in the spring. And when most of my students came to school in cowboy boots and fish hooks stuck on their hats, I knew that I was not in the stereotypical version of New Jersey.

5. Our little lake cottage home: Despite the ants and the non-regulating shower, our house was such a great place to start off our first three years of marriage. We had some ups and downs our first three years of marriage (as every couple does), but in general, the memories are happy ones. And we had the best neighbors we could ask for, too! Thanks J and L.

6. Cinnamon Indian Restaurant...enough said.

7. Picatinny Arsenal: I think I may have been spoiled by this military base because I am sure that this introduction to military life was not typical, but I'm thankful for the easy transition into military life. And for the fellow wives that I met at PWOC and for their encouragement and empathy.

8. The marvelous times spent in God's creation which included Appalachian trail backpacking and hiking trips, river kayaking camping trips, hikes, mountain biking, skiing, car camping, lake kayaking, picnics, and drives through the woods, plus all the bear, deer, and turtle sightings. It really is a beautiful state.

I could go on, but most people have probably already stopped reading, so I will stop writing.

See you later, New Jersey.

Korean Food

I know everyone has been waiting for this post... the post on Korean Food! It's my goal to try at least one Korean dish per week while I'm here. We'll see how that goes.

	Apparently the Korean's love chocolate about as much as we Americans do. Except, they have a different spin on it. This is green tea chocolate from Jeju Island, and it was delicious. I can't really describe the taste other than just pure awesomeness.
This will be my next chocolate purchase. I'm not sure how it will taste, but it's chocolate. If it's anything like the Green Tea chocolate was, I won't be disappointed.
	This is called a Korean "Choco-Pie." It's basically a Korean Moon pie, except they're smaller, and probably a little more healthy. They're absolutely delicious.
The Koreans love some Lattes, but they have a different take on it than we American's do. This one caught my eye since it was definitely a non-traditional drink. I haven't tried it yet, but it's on the to-try list.
	Funny story. We went on a field trip last week (See the post below this one). After we were done visiting the Hanowan facility, we stopped at a little soup restaurant where we had "Bone Marrow Soup." It sounds gross, but it's just beef broth. They boiled beef ribs, and this was the water left over.  Anyway, most of the Americans in our group refused to eat it. I thought it was delicious.... well... after I added a bunch of stuff to give it flavor. Otherwise, it just tasted like water.
Koreans are notorious for their love of Kimchi. The bowl of red stuff on the right of this picture is a type of "Radish Kimchi." It basically just taste like a pickled radish with Chili and Cayenne pepper sprinkled on it. The texture is similar to an uncooked potato. I think its tasty, and one of the few types of Kimchi I will actually eat. Oh yeah, I ate some tofu too. It's in the background.
	The funny thing is... I think the Korean members of our tour group and myself were the only ones who actually ate our lunch. I paid $10 for it, your durn skippy I'm going to finish it. Anyway, the other Americans in my group revolted and demanded that we stop at McDonald's on the way back. So we did.
Instead of going to McDonald's, I went next door to Starbucks where I got a Yogurt Avocado drink. JUST KIDDING! If you know me at all, you know I despise that clabbered milk product they call yogurt, and I despise avocado just as much. I got a green tea latte instead.
	While we were at the rest stop, one of our Korean Augments to the U.S. Army (KATUSA) gave me this little gem. It's translated as a "Walnut cake snack.' It's a deep fried ball of walnut dough with a red bean paste in the center, and it was delicious.

So that's it for the first months worth of the Korean food adventure! I'm sure there will be more to follow.

Spirituality and the North

A few days ago, because of my job, I was afforded an opportunity that very few Koreans, and even fewer Americans, get to partake in; I got to visit a facility where North Korean defectors to the South are trained in the ways of the rest of the world. I cannot and will not go into much detail about the facility, but there is something I wanted to share with you.

During the tour, we were shown the “Spiritual rooms.” These spiritual rooms were basically rooms designed for worship of different faiths; Christian, Catholic, and Buddhist. A member of our group asked “Since North Korea is an atheist country, which religion do they normally turn to?” The answer was “Christian.” This shocked the majority of the group, thinking that Buddhist would be the more popular choice. At first I thought to myself, “This doesn’t surprise me at all with the sheer number of missionaries in Asia.” Later, I realized I was wrong. The missionaries play a huge part in it, that I am sure of, but I think it’s something else.

Before I get into what I think that “something else” is, let’s look at a quick demographic of the No-Ko refugees; 75% of all the refugees coming into the South are women, and nearly all of them experienced some kind of physical or mental violence. According to the Yonsei University Graduate School of Social Welfare, out of 140 defectors age 20-50, 57.6% had PTSD and 45.7% had attempted suicide. So what does that say about what they have gone through?

So what faith allows a person to come as they are with no judgement? Christianity does! These No-Kos are in pain from the slavery of their government and sexual bondage. When they are introduced to the different religions, they seek the one that says "Come to me you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." How much lighter must Christ's yoke seem than that of an oppressive government and sexual slavery! No, I'm not surprised at all when I hear that Christianity is the religion chosen over the others that are offered. Not one bit.

There's more than one way to skin a cat...or preserve flowers...

The original flowers:

The preserved flowers:

But, of course, the originals are prettier. Thanks for the flowers, Liam.